On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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