He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
