ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
