i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
