So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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