New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fuck appropriateness.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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