Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
