I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize