you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize