She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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