): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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