when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize