She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
