3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
they need to just BURY HIM!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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