he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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