exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
