ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
