Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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