Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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