gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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