He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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