Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize