How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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