based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
