Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
