I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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