puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
