It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
