you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
