i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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