There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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