Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
