so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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