Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
