Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize