i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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