I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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