Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize