We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
