I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
