Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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