One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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