My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
