Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
