I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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