I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
