My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
