They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
