My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
