You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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