I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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