I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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