You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
