I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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