What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
