Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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