PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize