On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
